FEMALES’ SEXUAL PREFERENCE: OUTSIDE THE FAMILY CIRCLE
Relationships with peers
Comparatively little theoretical attention has been paid to a girl’s relationships and experiences outside the family in this regard. Yet there are a number of theoretical notions, primarily sociological, that implicitly or explicitly deal with these extrafamilial influences.
One line of thinking links the development of sexual preference among adolescent girls to their social relationships with their peers. Using the idea of differential association theory, for example, sociologists have focused on the need most people have for positive social relationships of one sort or another. According to this line of reasoning, a lack of satisfying, conventional social relationships predisposes a person toward unconventional social relationships. Thus, one might expect a socially isolated girl to be inducted into homosexuality more easily than would a gregarious and popular girl. She would be
confronted with two alternatives: isolation and loneliness without homosexuality, or a much desired intimate friendship that involved homosexuality. She . . . [would choose] the latter and become a confirmed homosexual . . . because she could find no other way of satisfying the need for intimacy and friendship.
This notion of differential association also implies that having positive social relationships with homosexuals increases the probability of a person’s being socialized to homosexuality.
There has been very little research on differences between homosexual and heterosexual women in their relationships with their peers while they were growing up. One study, however, has compared homosexual with heterosexual women and described the former as having been more isolated socially from their peers.
Feeling different
Some theorists have suggested that homosexuality may arise when a girl feels alienated from her peers and from “modal developmental and socialization processes”. According to this view, such alienation may have many roots; for example, it may reflect faster or slower physical maturation, or unconventional family situations or attachments. Advocates of this model claim, however, that these feelings on the part of prehomosexual girls rarely stem from outright social rejection or isolation, but rather open the way for girls to become detached from conventional social patterns and to become involved in “deviant”—e.g., homosexual—activities.
Little research has been done on whether prehomosexual girls do, in fact, feel alienated from their peers or how a sense of alienation from peers might relate to the development of homosexuality. Two studies comparing homosexual and heterosexual women, however, did find the homosexual women to have felt more alienated while they were growing up.
Labeling
Several sociologists have emphasized the extent to which people’s self-images and behaviors are determined by the labels others have applied to them. In this line of thinking, the labeled person may begin to take on the characteristics and behaviors stereotypically associated with the label. In the case of sexual orientation, female homosexuality is stereotypically associated with masculinity or tomboyishness. Thus, it could be hypothesized that labeling a girl “queer” or “different” because of gender-related characteristics may lead people to think of her as homosexual and may eventually lead her to think of herself as homosexual and to act accordingly. Empirical studies of female homosexuality, however, generally have not dealt with the question of labeling.
Dating experiences
Finally, a somewhat different view of female homosexuality focuses on the “dating and mating game.” In this view, some girls may, for one reason or another, be unsuccessful in what is seen as a courting market. Perhaps they are unattractive or shy. Perhaps their parents restrict their opportunities to date. Or perhaps they simply do not enjoy dating. According to opportunity theory, such girls may be particularly susceptible to homosexual influences, which provide an alternative source of companionship, intimacy, and acceptance. In short:
This argument states that female homosexuals are really heterosexual rejects; more simply stated, the lesbian becomes such because she is not sufficiently attractive to “make out” as a woman.
Unfortunately, previous research has generally overlooked homosexual women’s dating experiences while they were growing up. It has been noted, however, that in studying homosexual women one research team found them to be no less attractive than typical heterosexual women
Happiness and self-esteem
The theoretical views reviewed in this chapter suggest that pre-homosexual girls might be considerably less happy than preheterosexual girls during childhood and adolescence. If they have fewer friends, one could speculate, and if they feel more estranged and alienated from their peers, prehomosexual girls might question their own intrinsic worth, experience a good deal of stress and confusion, and simply miss out on many good times while they are growing up. Indeed, while little attention has been paid to this specific question in the literature on female homosexuality, one might well conclude that theorists in this area assume prehomosexual girls to be unhappy individuals who, for social or psychological reasons, are unable to enjoy their growing-up years.
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